I know I'm not the only one who has felt disoriented over the past few months. There's an awful lot of emotions, an onslaught of news, and much loss. And uncertainty...though I'm not sure that's quite the right word to capture it.
On a personal level, we moved into a new house in December with home remodeling happening, and I am realizing my plate is very, very full but unsure of what serving to remove. (I am, after all, an oldest child from an upbringing that abides by the Protestant work ethic---and those habits are hard to break.) It really feels like there aren't enough hours in the day.
So, in the midst of feeling overwhelmed with---well, life overall---I have found a grounding in the most mundane task (that I have said in the past I would never do again).
Painting plain walls.
Why, oh why, would I want to spend time rolling a wall with plain color when I could be spending that time doing real painting? The creative kind of painting--where I can create a work of art from the free expression of my mind. Because it seems silly to pay someone to paint my house when I'm perfectly capable of doing it. I do know (as I've recently been reminded by my sister) that I declared many years ago that I would not paint a whole house again. "If we can't afford to hire it done, then it just won't be done." But I just couldn't handle the creamy white (that looked slightly yellow) walls.
So after starting with 14 shades of taupe and taupe-adjacent paint swatches, we landed on "Perfect Taupe". And perfect taupe it is...it feels more "us". But the taupe goes on..and on..and on, as I make my way around the house (while throwing in a few accent walls).
But surprisingly, I'm very OK with painting taupe for hours on end, in the evenings and on weekends. At this season of life, I actually think I needed this perfect taupe intervention.
It's a mindless task paired with physical exertion (cue endorphins) and a mental break from an overwhelming world. And it's taupe --- so nuanced, so meaningful. It's not quite warm, not quite cool. Not quite brown, not quite gray. It's nuanced...like everything in life. And yes, I'm finding meaning in a wall paint color.
In a recent conversation with a friend, we contrasted being hopeful vs finding coping mechanisms. I generally try to approach life optimistically---not in a bubbly sort of way (I've never been a peppy person), but more of a "give the benefit of the doubt" way. But honestly, life is sometimes just too much. So, if you're in a slough of despond like me right now, might I suggest finding your perfect taupe.
Find that mindless task that takes a bit of physical exertion and gives you a sense of satisfaction when completed. Maybe it's cleaning out a closet or rearranging the living room...there's a lot of possibilities. But don't fill the time while doing the task with music or the TV on or listening to a podcast---just do the task in silence.
Silence.
Your "perfect taupe" task.
Let your mind relax and wander and get a break.
It really does help. At least, it has for me. Now, there's much to be said about escapism here, but in today's world, I think we need some of that. I'm also happy to receive suggestions on how to keep informed about the news while not resorting to despair.
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